Whether you’re pulling crackers around a roaring fire or sharing a festive feast after a winter walk, a good Christmas joke always brings a smile – or at least a hearty groan.
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We’ve rounded up the best countryside-themed crackers for outdoor adventurers, animal lovers and history buffs alike.
Best Christmas cracker jokes for countryside lovers
Jokes for outdoor adventurers
Q. How do mountain climbers greet each other?
A. Hiya!
Q. Why can’t bikes stand up on their own?
A. They’re two-tyred
Q. Did you hear the joke about the biggest mountain in the world?
A. You’ll never get over it.
Q. What do pandas pack for camping trips?
A. The bear necessities.
Q. How do mountains hear so well?
A. It's thanks to their mountain-eers
Jokes for history lovers
Q. Why did Henry VIII not need a brush?
A. Because he had no heir.
Q. Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
A. Julius Sneezer.
Q. Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
A. The second one.
Q. Which room did baby Vikings like best?
A. The Norsery.
Q. How was the Roman Empire divided?
A. With a pair of Caesars.
Jokes for nature lovers
Q. What did the sea say to the river?
A. You can run but you can’t tide.
Q. Why did the detective go to the beach?
A. Something fishy was going on.
Q. Why is grass dangerous?
A. All the blades.
Q. What colour is wind?
A. Blue.
Q. What did the tree say to the lumberjack?
A. Leaf me alone.
Jokes for animal lovers
Q. What’s the best way to learn more about spiders?
A. Check out their websites.
Q. Why do hummingbirds hum?
A. They don’t know the words yet.
Q. Why are cheetahs so bad at hide-and-seek?
A. Because they are always spotted.
Q. Why do birds fly South for the winter?
A. It’s too far to walk.
Q. What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
A. It gets toad away.
Jokes for explorers
Q. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?
A. Nothing, it just waved.
Q. How do people cook in the jungle?
A. With a grilla.
Q. Which bus crossed the ocean?
A. Colum-bus
On the farm
Q. Did you hear about the magic tractor?
A. It drove down the lane and turned into a field.
Q. What did the farmer call the cow with no milk?
A. An udder failure.
Q. What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
A. It’s pasture bedtime.
Q. Why did the farmer bury his money in a field?
A. He wanted to make his soil rich.
Q. Why did the pig break it off with her boyfriend?
A. Because he was a real boar.
Main image: A grey seal pup and its mother at Donna Nook National Nature Reserve. Credit: Getty Images
